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Summary: With the tremendous guilt of a failed mission weighing on Ahsoka one night, she finds herself unable to fall asleep and desperate to remedy this. In her desperation, she calls her master and spontaneously invites him over to her quarters… Set roughly around the very beginning of Season 2.
Contains: Hurt/Comfort, Terrible Impressions of Jedi Masters, and Anakin being a dad to Ahsoka!
“Just… go… to sleep…” Ahsoka told herself, repeatedly, in vain, as she had done for what felt like ages that night. It was pitch-black dark in her room, it had been a long day no-thanks to that seemingly never-ending war they were all stuck in.
How lucky was her master, she thought. To have started his Jedi training before the war and being given the time to grow… Ahsoka wished she had her master’s luck, having been expected from the get-go to be a fully-formed, bright, endlessly-talented and obedient Jedi before she ever got some respect from colleagues and superiors… but, as she was unfortunately prone to do, she ultimately gave in to the low esteem for herself she’d gotten after several mess-ups like this one.
“… There’s just something wrong with me… I’m just not as good at being a Jedi as the rest of them… but I’ve gotta keep trying… I have to live up to it all… and if I can’t… if I can’t live up to their expectations, I’ll… I’ll just be a failure and… a-and Anakin would give me that look again and-” Ahsoka began to think to herself, before her emotions got the better of her and reminded her of what exactly was keeping her up on this time. What was the cause of the tears rolling down her cheeks in the middle of the night.
The silence was driving her up the wall, but she didn’t dare make a sound or do anything to remind anyone of her existence. Frankly, at the moment, she just wanted to shrink into nothingness and just stop being. It’s not like anyone would ever miss her, or that she couldn’t be replaced, or that anything she had ever done was ever of any worth or couldn’t be done by any other—no doubt better and more capable—padawans. Not in her mind, at least.
She was in no mood to recall what exactly had happened, but the short of it was: She screwed up. Bad. And she could only imagine what kind of disappointment and humiliation it was for her master. What kind of disappointment she no doubt had turned out to be overall. He hadn’t voiced it, due to his electing not to speak to her afterwards, but he didn’t have to - she knew.
Once the long, quiet ride back to Coruscant had ended, Ahsoka thought it was at least over now. But then, the worst possible thing happened: Anakin began to speak up.
He took a deep breath, and began, “Ahsoka…” he sighed, “Look, about today… it—”
“I’m sorry!” Ahsoka blurted out, interrupting her master. She couldn’t handle it. Being chastised by Master Kenobi was enough, facing the disappointment of Master Koon was already too much, she was not going to forget the very stern words she had received from Master Windu, and she was nowhere near ready to hear from her own master after all that. She began to hyper-ventilate. “I… I’m sorry… I know I screwed up and… and I’m just… I’m just not good at being a Jedi and I’m sorry and I have to go!” she said, hurrying with the last part so he couldn’t get a word in before, with tears welling in her eyes, she ran to her quarters and didn’t look back. Only hearing a faint ‘Ahsoka, wait!’ from her master and something said by Master Kenobi that she couldn’t make out even if she was in any sort of mood that would make her want to hear what he or anyone had to say.
She had been in bed all day since. No one came in to check on her, further proving Ahsoka’s fears to herself - that she wasn’t loved or wanted… But then there was a part of herself that desperately wanted to prove that was a lie. She knew she wasn’t getting any sleep before that happened—not any good sleep, that was certain.
Against her anxiety and all reason in her, she got up from her bed and scrambled for the communicator she had in the room. After much stumbling in her effort to navigate through the dark, she found it and turned it on, its little light and display coming on and forcing her to close her eyes since they were not adjusted to such light in the middle of the night. Eventually she was able to get her eyes open to about a squint, before she got the bright idea of turning on a light so she could get her eyes adjusted at least until she’d finished what she wanted to do. Wearily, she turned on the light, shutting her eyes as tight as she could before doing so, then slowly opened her eyes and got them adjusted to it.
With that out of the way, she cycled through all the frequencies before she reached Anakin’s and called it immediately. Clearing her throat in an attempt to prevent any signs of her having cried from showing, though she realized how little it had helped as soon as she heard herself. “Master! Come in, master!” she called, desperately.
It took a moment for her to receive any answer, before she heard her master groggily, but urgently respond, in whispers, “I’m here, Ahsoka, what’s the situation?”
It was then that Ahsoka realized she had no situation. She was just having trouble sleeping, and she was calling her master about it. In the middle of the night. “…”
“… Ahsoka? Ahsoka, are you there? Ahsoka!” Anakin called out, assuming something had happened which had caused her silence.
In a small, ashamed voice, Ahsoka responded, “Y-yes, master, I’m here…”
She could faintly hear the voice of another in the room with him. At that point, with all the insecurity she was feeling at the moment, she paid no more attention to it, instead waiting for her master’s actual response, which she got. “… Okay then… What’s the situation, snips?” he asked once again, this time with more curiosity than urgency, as evidenced by his use of the nickname he had come up with for her.
“… I-I…” Ahsoka stuttered, “… I’m…” her voice grew even quieter, before ultimately answering with, “… I’m… I’m having trouble f-falling asleep…”
After a moment of silence—no doubt shock from her not frustratedly asking him once again not to call her that—he responded, “… What was that, snips? Could you speak up?”
“I’m… having… trouble… sleeping…” Ahsoka repeated one more time for her master, with shame and utter humiliation drenched in the tone of her voice.
After a few moments—dread-filled moments, on Ahsoka’s end—her master finally responded, “I see… Do you need anything?”
More panic grew in her heart, not having any idea what she was doing or what she even wanted at the moment. Finally, she answered, “Umm… well… I… I need someone…” Boldly, for her emotional and anxious state, she added, “A-and not just anyone, either, master…”
She could hear a sigh come from his end, followed by a deep breath, and then him responding, “… I’m on my way.” He then cut off communication from her, leaving her alone for the time being. She at least had the assurance that came with knowing her master was on his way.
“What’s going on? Is Ahsoka in trouble?” Padmé asked her husband.
“Well it’s…” Anakin began, before deciding against telling her, “… Don’t worry about it, Padmé. You can go back to sleep,” he assured her before continuing to prepare to meet with his padawan.
He knew what he was going on, but as for what he was going to do, he didn’t… or rather, he didn’t know if what he was about to do was the right thing to do as a Jedi. This wasn’t in his Jedi training and, really, if he ever gathered up the courage to do something like this with Obi-Wan, he would have undoubtedly been scolded and it would have been treated as a weakness, a problem, and he wouldn’t hear the end of them trying to ‘fix’ this problem for weeks until he’d manage to convince them that he’d miraculously gotten over it somehow. This was different though, this time he was the one calling the shots, and, if he got his way, this padawan was going to be taught better than he was.
“Annie…” she sighed.
Anakin looked back at his beautiful wife. It was the middle of the night and he could see her perfectly, almost as if she was… glowing. He sighed happily, lying back down on his bed for the time being and stroking her cheek, “… You’re so beautiful…” he smiled.
Padmé took the hand that stroked her cheek in hers and looked him in the eye. The Jedi Knight’s face fell upon seeing the look she was giving him, before she slowly lowered their joined-hands and took his chin in her free hand and made him face her once again, now sporting a smile. “You’re the most handsome Jedi I’ve ever met, but can we not let each other’s appearances distract us? Please?” she asked of her Jedi.
“… Yes, my lady,” he answered, cheekily referring to her as he did when they were just a Jedi and a Senator, before they became lovers. “… Ahsoka’s having trouble sleeping…” he admitted.
A lovely grin took form on Padmé’s face as she heard what it was that Anakin was getting up out of bed for. It was almost too adorable to be true, which led her to ask, “… Really?”
“W-well…” Anakin stammered as his face’s pigmentation came to resemble the red of one of Chancellor Palpatine’s many robes, “… Yes.” he ultimately replied, his voice having shrunken to the volume of the murmurs Master Yoda would make in his sleep whenever he’d hilariously fall asleep during a meeting (leaving his fellow Jedi to awkwardly try to ignore him, but that was a story for another time). “It’s… silly, I kno—” he began, before Padmé placed her index finger on his lips and kindly shushed him.
“It’s not silly at all, Annie… it’s really sweet.” she smiled warmly at him. “… And I believe you’ve kept your padawan waiting long enough…” she laughed.
“Oh,” he reacted, before clearing his throat, “yes, of course, excuse me.”
Padmé cupped his face, “You are excused, my handsome Jedi Knight.” She then leaned in and wrapped her lips around his in a passionate, amorous kiss. Both of them allowing themselves to get lost in the lip-lock, eyes closed peacefully. These were the moments where, between the two of them, things felt right. After a few more blissful moments, they pulled away. With one last knowing look, Anakin got off the bed and headed out as Padmé pulled the covers back up and went back to sleep.
There she was, right up against the door, waiting for her master to arrive. The wait was much less bearable than she had at first anticipated and she’d just about lost her grasp on the concept of time. She was just going to be there forever. Waiting in vain for someone to come to her.
Then, out of the blue, she heard footsteps approaching the door. Perhaps her master had finally arrived… or perhaps it was an assassin, sent by the sith or the seperatists or both to come and eliminate her. She wasn’t sure whether she was afraid of that fate or welcoming it. She was only a burden to everyone after all, she thought, why not just end her right here and now so she could no longer be such a proble—
“Whoa!”
… The door slid open with her right up against it, causing Ahsoka to fall right into Anakin just as he was meaning to enter into the room. When the shock had worn off and Ahsoka could process where she was then, her panic flared. “Oh no, no-no-no-no-no I’m sooo sorry, I was just right by the door and I wasn’t sure if you’d make it and-and-and it was a mistake but I’m so sorry and gosh can I do anything right? I don’t know…” she sputtered out.
Anakin blinked as he appeared to only have some of his bearings when she started her apology, but it wasn’t too long before he got a hold of her and stood her back on her feet - leading her back into her room and into her bed. Ahsoka asked no questions and said no words as he lied her down and fixed her sheets so they covered her well enough once again. She was clueless to what was gonna happen now but, thankfully, Anakin seemed to have an idea.
“I’m gonna read you a story, snips,” he smiled.
“A… bedtime story?” Ahsoka inquired.
“That’s the idea…” chuckled Anakin, as he went to her bookshelf to get a bedtime story for her.
“But I don’t have any,” she told her master.
“Don’t have any what?” he asked, curiously, not thinking much of it or even turning to look at her as he questioned her words.
“Bedtime stories,” she clarified.
Now Anakin looked back at her, a look of bafflement on his face as her words fell on his ears. “… That can’t be right, there’s gotta be some kind of bedtime story here somewhere. Wasn’t your mother able to get you an—” he started, before stopping himself from saying another word as the realization dawned on him. It was too late by then, Ahsoka’s eyes were welling-up again. Anakin sighed as he went away from the bookshelf and got himself a seat so he could sit by her. He put a hand on her shoulder,
“Look, snips, I… it’s hard, I know… and I know I’m not always as sensitive as you might need—whether that’s because of the war going on or it’s just my fault I don’t know… like how I don’t know where I’m going with this,” he joked at the end, expecting to elicit at least a little giggle from the padawan, but he had no such luck. He sighed once again before offering, “How about I just make a story just for you, how does that sound?”
“… Y-you would do that for me?” Ahsoka asked.
“Of course, snips. Here, let’s start right now,” he replied, before a truly-legendary pause happened. Making up a story seemed like such a simple task to him just moments ago, he thought, how hard could it be? “… There was…” he began, shakily, “a Jedi. And her name was… Ahsoka.”
“Really?” Ahsoka asked, dryly.
“Are you coming up with anything better? I thought not,” Anakin chuckled.
“Right…” she replied, rolling her eyes.
“Anyway, as I was saying… she wasn’t the only Jedi in the galaxy, but she was easily the very best,” he stated definitively.
Ahsoka’s sleepless eyes began to widen, “… She was?” she asked.
“Absolutely - anyone who saw her could tell,” he smiled, “only thing was, she was held back by a bunch of clueless old people.” He continued, as her eyes were wide open in shock and anticipation for what he would say next,
“Among these old people, there was this bearded guy who was always serious. A child could go up to him and ask if he could push them on their swing set, and he’d answer, ‘blah blah blah, work, work, work, fun is against the Jedi way, blah blah blah!’” She could tell he was impersonating Master Kenobi, except with a much more ridiculous accent and some very juvenile & silly speech patterns, and… it was honestly cathartic. She’d never seen her master speak so freely or contort his face in such silly ways as he was then, but it warmed her heart like nothing else.
“There was also. A very. Serious. Man,” he started, putting emphasis in odd places in his sentence. Ahsoka giggled - he was apparently doing Master Windu this time. “He. Would always. Uphold. The Jedi ways. Which. Apparently. Includes. Being uptight. And no fun. At. All.” It wasn’t even that good of an impression of the Jedi Master, if it was any good at all, but the effort was still very much appreciated and enjoyed.
“Finally, there was the worst one of them all,” Anakin stated, which gave Ahsoka pause. Impressions were fine, but who would he call the worst? The only person he could possibly make jokes of next was… “And his name was Anakin Skywalker - the worst master in The Jedi Order!” Ahsoka’s jaw gaped as Anakin took on the most ridiculous and inaccurate impression he had done all night… of himself. “He was reckless, he would always tell his padawan ‘look before you leap’ even as he’d spent his entire Jedi career leaping before looking, and he would lose his temper all the time.” He looked to his padawan, awaiting a response from her.
“… A-all the time?” Ahsoka asked, uncertainly, not sure if that was exactly what he wanted her to say—though it was, in fact.
“All the time!” Anakin yelled back at her in a silly, low-pitched voice meant to be an approximation of how he sounded when he was yelling. This, for reasons she herself wouldn’t be able to ascertain, was what made Ahsoka burst into a long, joyous laughter. One where tears would fall down and her sides would ache. Eventually Anakin couldn’t help but join in on the laughter and, instinctively, they both hugged each other for awhile.
After the hug had gone on long enough, they pulled away and Anakin got back to his original position in his seat. Ahsoka was still smiling, until she saw that Anakin’s smile had faded. “… What’s wrong?” she asked.
“… Well, there’s the ending to this story. Or… it… it’s not exactly finished,” he answered.
“… What do you mean by that?” Ahsoka asked.
“… Her master was Anakin Skywalker, and like I said before - he’s the worst master ever…” he answered, in a much more sorrowful tone than before, “… so he couldn’t have been the best master for the truly great Jedi that Ahsoka was… but he wants to try and make up for the mistakes he made in the past, and first he just needs Ahsoka’s forgiveness…
“I just don’t know if she would… What do you think?” Anakin asked.
Ahsoka was once again surprised by her master. She then gave some thought to her answer, leaving Anakin to patiently wait for it—which he did, dutifully—until Ahsoka gave her master a smile and a hand on his shoulder before finally answering, “I think she would definitely forgive her master.”
A relieved expression appeared on the Jedi Knight’s face. “… Sounds like a good ending to me, snips,” he smiled.
“Yeah, it does…” she replied as a yawn finally came to her as her eyes became half-lidded. “Thanks for coming, master…” she said, as she sank back into the covers of her bed.
“It was the least I could do, snips,” he assured her, before hugging her one more time. He then took his seat and put it back where he found it, preparing to leave his padawan’s side on much better terms than before. But, before he left, he turned to face his padawan, “Get some sleep, snips. I’ll want my amazing padawan to be at her best for tomorrow,” he said.
“Okay, I will… you’re the best master ever…” Ahsoka replied before drifting off to sleep at long last.
For a moment, Anakin didn’t realize what she had said. It didn’t take him too long to figure it out, and it truly touched him when he did.
“Best padawan ever…”
The End