Legal Disclaimer: I do not own Spider-Man or any associated characters owned by the Walt Disney Company, I do not claim ownership of Spider-Man or any associated characters owned by the Walt Disney Company, nor am I making profit from this original work of fan-fiction that was created and published for entertainment purposes only. Spider-Man is owned by the Walt Disney Company. All rights of Spider-Man and associated characters featured in this fan-fiction belong to the Walt Disney Company - besides film rights, which are held by Sony Pictures Entertainment, Inc. as of writing.
Chapter 3: A Matter of Aperture
Written by Felicia Rondo, Inspired by Cluster, Rated: 18+, Published: 9/25/2023
Summary: All seems well in the life of our intrepid arachnid, when a confrontation with The Hobgoblin finds Spidey unexpectedly beside an old ally! Black Cat emerges from the shadows, and she wants her Spider as much as ever! What’s a former swinging bachelor to do?
Contains: Reversed Polarity, Fun Near-Infidelity, World’s Second Goblin Villain, and Hostility Directed Toward and Coming From The Narrator!
“So, if you reverse the polarity at the proper inflection point, it should stabilize itself without any more fuss on your part,” Peter explained, “you’ll probably be able to reduce the voltage with how much power you’ll be saving with this, too - not that the power bill’s ever anything you need to worry about, Dr. Richards,” he teased, making the older nerd chuckle and shake his head.
“Every time, reversing the polarity’s the last thing I think to do, and it keeps being the solution…” Reed sighed, giving Peter a tired smile and a pat on the shoulder, “Thanks for the assist, and on such short notice, Parker. I’ve been staring at schematics for too long, so having a second set of eyes is much appreciated.”
There was hardly ever a dull day at the Baxter Building, its fantastic occupants made sure of that, but having the ‘Amazing Spider-Man’ over was a rare treat. Peter didn’t doubt Reed’s honesty, but part of him did wonder if perhaps he looked for excuses to call him over. He didn’t mind, and it wasn’t like he had a mustached tyrant of a boss breathing down his neck for new photos these days.
“It’s no problem, Reed,” Peter smiled, “I’m happy to be available! I’ve been making some changes that should free me up more often, so don’t be shy about calling if you need a hand!”
“Changes, hm?” Reed hummed, as he gave his flexible fingers a workout on the inscrutable high-tech touch interface of his machine, “It is good to try new things, make sure you’re not getting in a rut,” he mused, mostly to himself. But, before Peter’s attention could fully drift away, he asked,
“By the way, how is your wife’s Only Fans going?”
Peter did a double-take.
“M-my, her… what?!” he reacted, too confused by the question and the numerous other questions it raised simply by being asked to think of an answer, no matter how simple that answer might’ve been, “F-first of all, how do you even know about that?”
“Oh, there was a bit of an… ‘incident,’” Reed chuckled casually, not taking his eyes off of his experiment, oblivious to the even more concerned expression he was putting on Peter’s face with every moment his pause continued. “Johnny was apparently viewing recordings of your wife’s paid content that had been wrongfully uploaded on, er, a ‘tube’ website?
“Regardless of what they’re called,” he laughed, feeling a little insecure about how behind he was on this new web terminology, “Susan found out and gave him quite the scolding for it. I’ve seen supernovas that were less heated.”
“Huh…” Peter responded, feeling a little better that a man who was old enough to be his father apparently wasn’t getting nudes from his wife, and… not surprised Johnny would stoop that low, but still annoyed.
He wasn’t sure that it was lucky for Johnny that Susan got to him before he could… but Peter could be certain that, whatever was said, he couldn’t have said it better himself.
“All that to say, Johnny is now supporting your wife’s business,” Reed concluded, though Peter wasn’t sure he liked Johnny being a supporter all that much either. Better than him looking at stolen videos, anyway.
“I have other matters I’m more interested in exploring,” Richards added, to Peter’s relief, “but Susan has developed a fascination with the platform, particularly after following your wife’s webpage,” he revealed, inadvertently giving Peter a very different image in his head that he was even less sure how to feel about, “would Mary Jane be willing to offer some advice for Susan on how to start her own Only Fans?”
For being the world’s smartest man, Reed never did have a knack for noticing when he was making things awkward. He always meant well, at least, Peter knew - and for Mary Jane’s part…
“She’ll be happy to give any advice she can, I’m sure,” Peter answered, pulling his mask back over his face for lack of being able to mask the awkwardness in his voice, which elicited a nod from Dr. Richards. Flipping from the ground to a nearby wall, Spidey remarked, “I better head out, but do me a favor and thank Johnny for his patronage.”
Reed already had all his attention sucked back into his experiment again, so Spider-Man swung out from the top of Baxter Building and back to the New York sky.
Buildings seemed to fly by him as he swung from one to the next, and for a moment it seemed like there was nothing the matter. Just a free day to breeze by Spidey, without a single care in the worl—
“Nyahahahahaha!” a cackle echoed from the distance.
Okay, Peter thought, maybe a single care. But that’s it!
“I’d know that cackle anywhere,” Peter narrated, as he slingshotted himself between two buildings and sent his body soaring to where the fiendish laughter erupted from, “and the faint scent of hang glider fumes clinches it - there’s no one else this could be…”
And with one final swing around the corner of one more building, our intrepid arachnid discovered none other than…
“Wait, that’s not—”
“Laughable simpletons! Did you really think you’d seen the last of The Hobgoblin?!?!” the Hobgoblin bellowed, cutting off Spidey’s dialogue as if interrupting the narration paragraphs ago wasn’t bad enough, “You shall all rue the day you counted out the most fearsome goblin ever to terrorize the skies of this miserable city!”
Would telling him he really thought he was the Green Goblin be funny? Absolutely. Would it make the situation worse? Spider-Man was about to find out.
“Hey Gobby!” Spidey remarked, announcing his presence to the cloaked foe as he swung in, “Stop, don’t tell me - someone mistook you for the Green Goblin again, didn’t they?”
“You?!” the Hobgoblin growled, readying one of his pumpkin bombs, “How dare you compare me to that second-rate pest, you… third-rate pest!” he shrieked as he tossed the bomb in the direction of his arachnid archenemy, who swung out of the way so quickly it made the harrowing hang-glider feel utterly ridiculous.
Flipping onto the nearest rooftop and webbing the edge of it, Spider-Man aimed his body precisely before sling-shotting himself back out into the sky, where his outstretched fist met the Hobgoblin’s jaw like a train meeting tracks.
“You’re right, my bad,” Spider-Man laughed, as he zipped by his foe, before swinging back around and pushing the Hobgoblin’s hood comically over his face, “‘Gobby’ is what I call the Green Goblin - not cool of me to use it on you, as if we know each other like that! Remind me to apologize to the Goblin that actually rates as a nemesis of mine, next time I see him.”
The Hobgoblin howled with fury at that, proceeding to unleash an onslaught of pumpkin bombs the likes of which our ever-loving wall-crawler was woefully unprepared for. So bringing up the Green Goblin might not’ve been the science major’s best idea.
“I didn’t hear you raising any complaints,” Spider-Man snapped back at the narrator, leaving the Hobgoblin just enough time to land a bomb right where his next webline had shot out, “Yipe!” he cried, as he proceeded to plummet down to the streets of New York City, “I’m holding you wholly-responsible for that one,” Spidey remarked at the narrator once more, irresponsibly, even though it was Uncle Ben who said with grea—
“Haha! I’ve got you right where I want you, you odious lout!” cackled the Hobgoblin, hurling the pumpkin bomb that would seal Spider-Man’s fate… that is, were it not for a change in luck.
Out from the shadows streaked a familiar feline figure that hadn’t crossed paths with our favorite spider in some time. Scooping him out of the sky and using her tail-like whip to bring both their flying bodies to at least temporary safety, a welcome reprieve from certain death, the Black Cat made the scene.
“Hey Spider,” the Black Cat purred, referring to Spider-Man by his first name, as they landed on a nearby rooftop with her body lying sensually on top of his, “feels like it’s been nine lifetimes since I last laid eyes on you~” she sighed, “Did you miss me?”
“Felicia, I-I…” stammered Spider-Man, referring to the Black Cat by her real first name, before feeling his spider-sense tingle violently, “… I think we better save the catch-up for later!” he finished, before hugging her securely and webbing them away from the next set of bombs the Hobgoblin threw out.
Shamelessly, the Black Cat moaned as their bodies pressed tightly together, wrapping her arms around the web-slinger and rubbing her generous chest lustily against his. It was very forward but, in her defense, it had been a long while since she had been quite this close to her Spider.
“B-Black Cat! Kn-knock it off!” Spider-Man scolded her, opting for her superhero name as he blushed through his mask, before letting her off the Spidey Express at the next rooftop.
“What’s the matter, Spider? That’s not what you used to say when we touched,” she winked, landing on her feet and whipping one of the Hobgoblin’s bombs back at him in the same breath.
“It’s a little different now, but we’re saving the catch-up for later!” Spidey reminded her, before turning to face the Hobgoblin once again - his foe comically-engulfed in smoke from that bomb Felicia had returned to him.
Taking advantage of the opening, he webbed two sturdy lines to the edge of a roof and hopped to another roof behind it. Hoping to generate enough velocity to send the Hobgoblin over to next Sunday, Spider-Man let go of the web lines and launched his body toward the fearsome fiend mere moments before he could regain his bearings.
Against the force of the wind rushing against him, Spidey threw one final kick that sent the Hobgoblin flying into a brick wall - where he fell unconsciously onto a fire escape. Swiftly, the web-slinger webbed up the now-unpiloted hang glider and stuck it on the wall next to ‘Hobby.’
“Nope, that definitely does not work as a nickname,” Spidey commented on ‘Hobby,’ as if he was coming up with anything better, “now, where’d I leave my camera again? I know a cranky old man who’s dying to see new pictures of his favorite friendly neighborhood…” his voice trailed off, as he remembered where he left his camera - back home.
It was going to take some getting used to, not taking photos of his Spider-antics for his job any longer, but even he had to admit he was showing promising progress on adjusting to the status quo. Instead of setting his camera up for the scene, he swung into action immediately once he knew there was trouble.
That said, there was still one other question left unanswered.
“What happened to Black Cat?” he wondered, landing on the last roof he saw her on and looking around as the city lights slowly turned on to illuminate the night… before tensing up as he felt a hand reach around his waist to stroke his stomach, accompanied with a sultry purr just behind his ear.
“Right behind you,” she whispered, before her darling Spider slipped out from her embrace and spun back around to face her, “so is now a good time to talk about this ‘keep away’ act you’ve started?”
“Felicia, it really is good to see you again after so long, but I know you weren’t born yesterday,” Spider-Man replied, frankly, earning himself a faux-offended look from the Black Cat, “you know as well as I do that I’m a married man - heck, weren’t you at the wedding?!”
Her brows raised, but no words came out of those alluring lips of hers. As she leisurely began to pace around her Spider like a predator circling its prey, she smirked and danced her line of sight all around New York before suddenly meeting his expectant eyes with a gaze of desire that nearly knocked him back.
“I see we have a bit of a misunderstanding,” she finally started, continuing to pace around him, “Felicia Hardy attended the wedding of little Peter Parker and his precious Mary Jane, not the Black Cat,” she explained, turning to face him, “‘get the picture?” When he didn’t seem to follow, she closed the distance between the two and continued,
“Parker may be married, but my Spider’s still a free agent.”
“… I’m sorry, what?” Spidey responded, “Felicia, that’s not how anything works. I don’t wear the mask so I can be somebody other than Peter Parker, I wear it to protect the people in Peter Parker’s life - because I am Peter Parker,” he lifted his mask up to reveal his face to her, for emphasis, “I can’t separate being a superhero from being the nerdy science major who got picked on at school, I go out and do what I do because I’m that nerdy science major.”
Felicia softly pulled the mask back over his eyes, leaving everything down from the tip of his nose still exposed.
“I don’t know,” she sighed, keeping that irresistible smile on her face, “looking into those sexy spider eyes of yours, I see plenty of separation…” She slowly went to lean in, hoping to close the gap between their lips, only for Peter to back away once again, “Ohh Spider,” she rolled her eyes, “whatever happened to the days where I was the one getting you all excited, only to pull away before you could get what you wanted?”
“Marriage,” Peter bluntly answered, “a really happy marriage, and not one I want in any danger of blowing up.” Pulling the rest of his mask down, he shot out a web-line and jumped off the edge of the rooftop to swing away. Eventually he would make it back home to his and MJ’s apartment, and with any luck he’d be able to forget the encounter ever happened.
And he probably would’ve, too… were it not for Black Cat giving chase from the rooftops.
“Is it so wrong to let ourselves do what comes natural, Spider?” she asked, pressing the subject further, before adding with a wink, “What’s the danger? I’m not setting off your spider-sense, am I~?”
“That’s not how spider-sense works!” Spidey replied, incredulously, “I swear, it feels like I went decades without anyone questioning the mechanics of it, now I’m starting to wonder if it makes any sense!”
Before long, he was back outside his apartment building. He opened the window to the Master Bedroom and let himself in, but got kicked onto his back before he could shut it behind him as Black Cat let herself in with him.
“Come on, Spider,” she pouted, walking off of him and letting him pick himself back up, giving him a pleading look, “you haven’t stopped liking me, have you?”
Looking back at her, Peter sighed and lifted his mask back up over his eyes to meet her gaze without the lenses of his ‘spider eyes’ in the way.
“Felicia, I didn’t like you… I loved you,” he confessed, “I know we didn’t really have the sort of relationship where that could be said, but it’s true… and no matter where I go, no matter what I do, a part of me always will love you… but—”
Swiftly, before he could finish his sentence or do anything to stop her, Black Cat pulled her Spider’s mask back down over his eyes and laid a kiss on his lips so fiery it would make Firestar blush.
When their lips touched, it was like his whole body lit up. Every memory they made together, every moment they stole, all flashed before his eyes as she poured her heart into the liplock. It was nearly enough to make him let go, to lose himself in it… but then he heard the floor creak at the doorway.
Opening his eyes, he looked and saw the familiar silhouette of Mary Jane, crossing her arms as she stood and watched the two. Peter pulled away from the kiss as fast as he could, eliciting another eye-roll from Black Cat as he tore his mask off and dropped it to the floor.
“MJ!” he started, “I-It’s not what it looks like, I swear.”
“Aww, it’s not?” Mary Jane replied, turning the light on and revealing a different look of disappointment on her face than Parker was expecting, “Because it looked hot. Why’d you stop?”
Peter couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He stared at Mary Jane and then back at Felicia, who had a very amused look on her face, and he couldn’t help but feel like there was some kind of joke being played on him that he wasn’t let in on.
“B-because we’re… you, me, I… w-we’re married!” Peter said, “Why wouldn’t I stop?!”
“Well, the way I see it,” Mary Jane explained, shrugging her shoulders as a look of utter bewilderment was plastered over her husband’s face, “I’m married to Peter, Tiger, but Spider-Man’s still a free agent!”
“That’s what I was saying!” Felicia laughed, “See, Spider? She gets it!”
At that, there was nothing left for our favorite wall-crawler to do but sit on the edge of his bed and bury his face in the palms of his hands. Eventually it would hit him that the two women he had loved most in all his life were perfectly happy to share him together, and the unbridled joy it would most certainly bring with it was set to be truly spectacular, but for that night…
“Both of you…!” he sighed, very tired from the toll of being loved by two amazing women. And oh what a wonderful problem it was to have.
To Be Continued
Author’s Notes: I honestly meant to start work on this chapter in May, but something came up and I ended up not starting work on it until late-July. Oops! Hope it was worth the wait!
Originally I was going to have Black Cat outright not know Peter’s secret identity, but I decided it didn’t make sense for Peter never to have let her in on it. Left me in a biiit of a pickle, scrapping most of the outline for this chapter besides the broad strokes, but I think I managed!
Cluster had the idea for the incident involving Johnny watching her clips on tube sites! Another great idea, for the same story they came up with the premise for in the first place! They actually forgot Mary Jane starting an OnlyFans was their idea, but it really was! I’m not pulling your leg, honey!
Thanks for reading! The rest of the story is fully-outlined, all that’s left to do is for me to find time to write it all out in between everything else going on. Until next time, true believers!
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